U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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