Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
