Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
try to milk me bitch
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
