I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
