I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
