how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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