Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Are we still banned from the library?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
