Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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