Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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