first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
