i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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