I think I won the penis lottery.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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