Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
