I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Panties = found
Randomize
