is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
