The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
