Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
