They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
