Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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