he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
