I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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