he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
