It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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