he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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