Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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