when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
