I can tuck mytits in my pants
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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