yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
