I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
