Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
