He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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