my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
