his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
