I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
