Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
