I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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