My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
