You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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