I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
