C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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