home. puking in laundry basket.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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