I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
