i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How external is "for external use only"?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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