i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
