ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
