508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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