What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
