My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
