Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
