Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
