I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
