She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
