we have officially lost it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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