Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
