Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
