And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
