Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
